Save The Turf

Let me start off by saying that this has little… well, actually NOTHING to do with Japan. However since Tim was foolhardy enough to give me a soapbox to stand on, I’m going ahead with this anyway. Wait, wait, wait!!! Don’t start looking at porn just yet. This is actually pretty interesting. Yes, I know; this post has few pictures, contains the words “historically significant“, and may take you more than 2 minutes to read. BUT I do use a lot of dirty words, make filthy imagery, and provide links to moving pictures.
このブログ・エントリは全く関西のスケートシーンには関係ないですけどスケートボードの歴史的にとって面白いと思ったので書いてみました。そして先に一応言っとこう・・・・英語の部分はふざけていることばかりなので、がんばって読もうと思う人は辞めた方がいいよ。時間がもったいないかも。

I felt compelled to write about this when I tried to tell my European brethren about the Turf, but due to this particular person’s geographical handicap (he was born with it; he can’t help it), he had no idea what I was talking about. He then made me feel old and in turn I will torture you with an otherwise pointless history lesson. Fuckers.
私はシカゴ出身のスケーターです。冬はものすごく寒くて、だいたい１１月～３月まで雪が降るので冬にスケートしたければ雪が積もってない所でやるか、ガレージの中でやるかインドアパークで滑る しかない。私が始めた時代は近くにスケートパークがなかったのでほとんどガレージの中か外でがんばっていた。一番近いパークはSurf N’ Turfと言うスケートパークでした。みんな、ただ「ザ・ターフ」とよんだ。当時私が知らなかったけどThe　Turfはめっちゃめっちゃ有名なスケートパークでした。

The Surf N’ Turf, more commonly known as the Turf, was a skate park that was opened in 1979 just outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Otherwise known as “the middle of fucking nowhere“. I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me to say. It’s really more left of center.
The Midwest region of the United States is thought of as dull, and with the exception of a few cities this is for the most part true. Usually when one thinks of the Midwest, if one does actually think of the Midwest, they think of corn and/or dairy product, definitely not skateboarding. When the Turf reopened in the 80’s it put the Great Lakes region on the map. Well, that’s not true but it sounds good doesn’t it? It was not only historically significant as one of the few remaining old concrete parks; it was also a really good park to boot! It was famously featured in Santa Cruz’ “Streets on Fire“, in which an incarcerated Jason Jesse ogles skate porn and fantasizes about the bowls at the Turf, in the same way most inmates fantasize about giving the ol’ rear admiral to fresh fish in the communal shower.
スケートパークといえば木材で作っているランプなどを想像するでしょうが、昔のパークはコンクリートで作っていた。７０年代にプールスケーティングができてから滑るテレーンに変わった。昔の写真に南カリフォルニアのもっとも有名なMarina Del ReyやUplandスケートパークがよく出てくる。８０年代の初めにスケートボードの人気がなくなって、たくさんのパークを閉めた。その時代に必然的にハーフパイプ・バーチカルランプができ、当時とちがって木材のランプが標準となりました。やっとこの２１世紀にコンクリートのスケートパークが戻ってきた。

In the early 90’s street skating gave birth to the pressure flip and the “vert button” (i.e. fast-forward on the VCR), and soon skate jocks found themselves out of work. The Turf folded under the pressure, filling in its bowls to make room for a street course, before eventually shutting down all together in the mid 90’s. Time moved on, trends changed, and the Turf was pretty much forgotten by everyone but those of us who skated there. The park lay dormant under a home and garden shop for 15 years, until recently it was unearthed by the Wisconsin Department of Transportation, while making way for a staging area for a highway construction project.
たまに中西部とイーストコストがスケートボード雑誌の取材範囲に入ったけど、昔のスケートボード世界の中心はカリフォルニアでした。現在でもそう言えるかもしれないけど…中西部に２つの有名なコンクリートパークがあった。オハイオ州のApple Skate Parkとウィスコンシン州のSurf N’ Turfでした。両方ともウェアーハウスの中にあった。テレーンは何種類のコンクリートボウルだけでした。そして両方とも1979年に開いた。Appleが1981年に閉鎖した。Turfのはオーナーは1982年に別の会社にリースした。スケートパークの営業を続けてもらおうと思って貸してたけど、結局ストリップ劇場となった。契約の戦いがあったけどもとのオーナーが戻ってきてもう一度1987年にパークを開いた。80年代のスケートボードのピークにTurfがSanta CruzのStreets On Fireビデオに出て、Thrasherも特集記事をした。でも又ピークのすぐ後にスケートボードの人気さがドンとなくなってきて、そして90年代にストリートスケートがメインとなった。たくさんのバーチカルスケーターがデッキを売れなくなった為リタイアした。Turfはコンクリートのボウルとハーフパイプだけのテレーンだったので、新世代のスケーターはパークに行く気がしなかった。仕方なくTurfのオーナーが前向きに全てのボウルを埋めて全館ストリートコースにしたが、それでも1996年に閉鎖した。建物を取り壊してホームセンターとなった。15年後高速道路を広げる為にウィスコンシン州運輸省が工事の為に土地を手に入れて、きれいに建物とアスファルトをなくした。そしたら、なんとTurfのボウルが出てきた！

To everyone’s amazement the bowls were still intact, albeit roughed up and filled in with gravel… like a female coal miner’s vagina. Locals got together and shoveled out the gravel by hand. Not barehanded; they used shovels you tit. Their efforts uncovered old graffiti, which could not be deciphered by the modernized skater. The writing was documented and old slash dogs were brought in to make sense of these strange pictograms from the 1980’s. It turns out this is how… um, what do you call them?.. old people, used to express “stoke”. It appears that people used to muster enjoyment from learning that a complete stranger had at some point engaged in the same activity, in the same general area. Recent studies find that this was not only limited to skateboarding, but also other activities, including sexual relations.
なんとか噂が広がっていき、すぐにローカルのスケーターがシャベルを持って、ボウルの中の土・石・水をがんばって掘り出し、あっという間にあっちこっちのスケーターが手伝いに来て、ほとんどのボウルを掘り出した。しかし、次の日に運輸省がシャベルカーでもう一回埋めた。みんなの努力が一瞬に水の泡となりました。

If Indiana Jones skated he would have the biggest boner right now.

It was not long until earth moving equipment rendered hours of back breaking work beyond recall in a matter of minutes. (*This is the part of the story where your chest tightens and you choke back a tear as you watch history take it hard in the ass by progression.) Ah! But not before someone got a little run in the shallow end of lipslide gully! Ha! Take that infrastructure development, you bitch ass trick!
それでも一生懸命にがんばったスケーター達は諦めなかった。もう一度、最初からシャベルで一晩中掘り出した。何回 しても又埋めると分かっていたが、厳しい真夏の暑さでがんばった。思った通り、また運輸省が埋めた。そして今回は警察も一緒に来て、土地からスケーターを出した。

Skated for the first time in 15 years!

In spite of aging skaters desperately clinging to their wasted youth and support from the community and local news, WDoT is determined to continue their douche-baggery (yeah, I’m tired of “douche” too but it kind of fits here). There is hope though; the children of the corn are now doing their best to save the Turf. So please show them your support. Buy a t-shirt. Write a politician. But not just any politician, because that would be stupid. Be sure to check out their site to learn more, you apathetic cock.
まだまだ諦めず、ローカルスケーター達が政治家と戦っている。このパークはただの楽しく滑れる所だけではなく、スケートボードの歴史にとって大切です。言葉、人種、文化などはスケートボートをする人間には関係がない。、それぞれの趣味やスタイルがあるけど、どこの国でもスケーターはスケーターです。遠くからでもサポートできるよ。下手な英語でもメールまたは手紙を政治家に送って、可能であればSave The Turfに寄付を与えましょう。ウェブサイトで限定のTシャツを売っている。超有名なJimbo Phillipsがデザインした。よろしく！

*Just to set the record straight: The English portion of this post is a total wank, because if you can read this, you can read the information in the links I provided. I see no reason to rehash their words as my own. The Japanese portion of this post is a less offensive summary of the information for our J-readers (if they exist). Hopefully the bond of the shred sled transcends borders and at least a little international support is provided for the guys at Save the Turf. Keep up the good work fellas. Also a special thanks to Peter DiAntoni for allowing me to use his amazing photos. Be sure to check out his flickr page for more great photos of the Turf from its salad days and the recent dig. Lastly, I am from the Midwest and I only mean maybe half of what I said.

FUN FACTS:
1) The Turf was my first skate park, my first skate trip, my first taste of real transitions, and my first serious injury all rolled into one.
2) The Turf was a skate park, a strip club, and then a skate park again. How cool would it have been if were a skate park AND a strip club?
3) I wrote something about suicide bombing a bus to show support for Save the Turf, reminding the reader to be sure to make a video first, but decided to remove it because I thought it might be too offensive. However, I have no reservations about the coal miner’s vagina remark.
4) There used to be these things called copers, which were a plastic piece that covers the hanger on your trucks. The Turf required people to use these in order to preserve the tile. A lot of good that did them!
5) I actually do know quite a few old people; I have grown up around them. In fact some of my best friends are old people. We’re tight so it’s okay for me to make these jokes. They don’t mind because I understand them and in turn they have accepted me as one of their own.
6) I was actually banned from the Turf when they found out I pretended to be my friend’s brother, so his mother could sign my waiver. I also lied to my friend’s parents, saying that my mom would pick us up knowing that after arriving back in Chicago on a 2 hour flight that very same day, that there was no way in hell my mom would even consider it. If I remember correctly, her exact response when I called her from the skate park (that’s right my plan was to spring it on her and hope for the best) was “Tough shit. No fucking way.” Needless to say, my friend’s parents were livid, and wouldn’t let me hang out with them any more after that day.
7) I wrote this a while ago during a slow day at work but shelved it because I couldn’t be bothered to write all the Japanese shit. But since it is raining today, all my friends are busy, I am fresh out of booze, there isn’t a speck of weed in the house, and my favorite free porn site has been removed I’ve decided to buckle down and get this done. Yeah! *Update: It got pretty late and I made a beer run when the rain let up.